Sunday

Church- Thankfully today gave me time to clear all my negative thoughts and view life differently. I know now what I need in life and what I don't. I don't want to take life for granted or waste time trying to get the things I want more than I necessarily need. I can't change the ones around me I can only change myself. We all have reasons for the way we act and we need to spend time figuring out why that is. I have wasted worries on what people think. I only need now to care what I think.


I have spent all my time trying to control other peoples actions because I have been hurt so much by others. People are going to treat you how they want to regardless how good of a person you are. I guess thats what hurts the most. I wish people wouldn't take everyday life pleasures for granted such as family, love and a happy home. I think now I have matured. I want to be happy and be proud of myself. I want to have strength for Carter and myself. I want him to have the best life that I can give him and that begins with myself. My actions will always affect others around me. I will make sure those are the right actions.

I want to enjoy Carter's every moments and enjoy my life. I do not want to live in fear anymore or live being hurt be others.

This will be a healing process and will take time but I look forward to the outcome.

Please pray for the ones you love and enjoy the time you have with them. Ask for forgiveness and change now not tomorrow, but know that there is no perfection.